Motivation renewed



It’s been awhile since I wrote something in here. Since ayah’s entry.
Ayah’s passing surely had affected my whole life and it makes me re-evaluate my own goal. Recently, I went to a workshop about supervision and the speaker asked us: 

“What is your motivation?”
A seemingly simple question that was too hard for me to answer.

It used to be,
“I want to work hard to make my parents happy & healthy, take them to Mekah and enjoy their lives to the fullest” But, ayah is not here anymore.

The speaker asked us think about it again and kept repeating the same question:

“What is your motivation?”

Then I remembered something. As a new lecturer, I was swamped with a lot of responsibilities, challenged to teach new subjects, new style to adapt and met with different kinds of people. My time was filled with university’s stuff and I enjoyed it very much, never knew I will. I voluntarily went to the office during weekends to prepare the teaching materials and stayed in the office even after working hours. It is surely a hectic career but when I look at my students' accomplishments, it was totally worth it. 

I learn a lot about my life and the life of others too. Now I realized my new motivation.

“I want to work hard to fulfill and go beyond my responsibilities so Allah will be pleased with me"

I decided to stop putting my goal on human being. Human can perish but human’s Creator will always be here. By putting my responsibilities, I have covered a lot of things. Responsibility as my parents’ daughter, my students’ lecturer and you name it, insyaAllah I will stretch my limit to achieve it.

Actually the speaker did not want to hear our motivations, he just wants us to think about it deeply and realize it by ourselves.

Well now I realized mine. What's yours?


My loving father,
My hero,
The person who is always stood behind my selfish decision,
My number one supporter and protector,
The reason for my every action,
The source of my happiness and sorrow.
My first teacher.

Left me on 31st July 2015 (Friday at 1.30PM) after 2 years of bedridden due to stroke.
Kind of funny, cause I was born on 19th Sep (Friday at 1.30PM).

Left this world in front of me.
He used to said "Ayah mimpi ayah mati..sebelah Dikmi"
True. I can still remember the moment, the coldness of his feet. It will never fade away and it hurts.

Rest in peace.
I love you very much and I know you knew it.
I hope we can meet again in Jannah.
InsyaAllah, may Allah help us.

PhD convocation


I had my PhD convocation on the 1st November last year.
It was a really amazing thing ever happened to me.

I was overjoyed.
Alhamdulillah. Even though Ayah cannot join me, I have my Mak, Diknah, Zahra, Apit and of course my bestfriend, Trex with me. And Sha, who joined us after the ceremony. Three of us went to Mersing afterward.

After Trex arrived at my house, we started our journey from Kedah to Skudai. I don't know how to express it in words but Trex is so precious. We went to Skudai by her car and she took few days off to accompany me during my convocation. We stopped at Melaka and we left Mak and Zahra at Enah's place. They will go to Skudai with Apit the next morning while Trex and I continued straight to UTM.

Walking my way up to the hall
Thank you Mak, Enah and Zahra for being with me during my PhD convocation.
With Trex, one of the best human beings I've ever met
Right after the ceremony ends, Mak and Enah went back to Melaka while me and my friends went to Mersing!

 These ocean loving people are at it again.
Any celebration or reunion, we must do at PANTAI! Very Dove.

I am over that


It has been a loooong time since I've  been here (virtually). My last update was posted on April 2014 and today is June 2015 already. A year plus has passed and a lot of things had happened to me. InsyaAllah I'll take my time to write them out one by one in here.

So where do I begin?

Maybe I should start at where I left. Last year, 2014.

Alhamdulillah I have already graduated.
If you are the avid reader of my blog, you must be so relieved.

"Finally, I don't have to read about this girl's whine, sad, demotivated's stories anymore"

Haha! A phd student's blog. What did you expect?
The path was so heavy, thorny, lonely, what else? I don't wanna think about it anymore..
I'm free now. I have my doctorate degree!
Alhamdulillah.Syukr to Allah for helping me along the way.
I was tested in the middle of the journey, I nearly lost all my hopes.
I am nothing without Allah's mercy.

So yeah, I have my 3rd convocation on November 2014.
It was sad...
Because Ayah should be there.He told his friends that he won't go to my Degree and Msc convocation because he wanted to save it for my PhD. Unfortunately, Ayah was bedridden due to his stroke attack. It's almost 3 years now...

oh no! I don't want to write about sad things anymore.
I am over that. Hopefully.

Well, I leave you with that -mood interrupted-

Next, I'll write about my experiences as R&D officer in industry.

May Allah bless all of us.

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